Adelaide Dorothy Von Bargen

It's a new world...for Julian and I. On November 10th we gave birth to our baby girl right here at home in our Toronto apartment. It was an amazing and surreal experience. It was everything I wanted...except we didn't have the birthing pool because it hadn't been delivered and set up yet. We were to get it the following week. I was sure Adelaide would come later rather then sooner, but she proved us wrong. I am so glad she came when she did because had I gone in to labour just 2 days earlier, I would have had to go to the hospital because I technically wouldn't have been "full-term". Here is my story:
On November 9th in the evening I started feeling like I was getting the flu. I was experiencing some menstrual-like cramps as well. I didn't take much notice because many women feel these cramps weeks before they actually go into labour. As the night went on they started to actually hurt but they weren't happening very close together, it was just randomly. By about 1am I thought I would maybe time them as they seemed to happen more often. They were still minor cramps that were about 7-10 minutes apart and lasted like 20 to 30 seconds. They were making me more uncomfortable then usual but I tried not to take any notice because I knew there were things that still needed to happen before I went in to labour, like losing my mucous plug and I still didn't feel like I had that "nesting" urge. In fact, my place was kind of a disaster. I suppose I had been baking and crocheting more the usual over the weeks leading up to that day, but still, was that "nesting"? At about 3:30am I had to pee, so I went pee and noticed a wee bit of blood on the toilet paper. I looked in the toilet and there was this gross weird thing that came out of me. I wondered if that was my mucous plug. So, I got on the internet and googled it. Of course there were images, lol. And those images definitely resembled what fell in the toilet. Oh boy, I started getting a little nervous. We were SO unprepared. We hadn't gotten anything on the list the midwife told us to have. We didn't even have diapers. The babies stuff was still in boxes and the place was a mess. I did some reading and read that some women lose there plug up to 2 weeks before they actually go in to labour. So, I calmed down and decided to get some rest. I slept for a few hours and woke up at 7am with my husband. He was getting ready for school and I told him all about my night and what happened because he was sleeping while I was going through that. He wondered if he should stay home. I told him not to worry and just go to school. I was convinced I wouldn't go in to labour for a while still. This was our first baby which means it will most likely be late, right? So, after getting his stuff together, off he went. I had a google chat date with one of my best pals back in Winnipeg. We must have been chatting for 20 minutes when all of a sudden these minor cramps I was still getting that were about 30 seconds long and about 7 minutes apart got pretty intense. She told me to call my midwife and I said I was fine and it wasn't a big deal because they weren't super intense and they weren't 5 minutes apart yet. Not long after that I was on the ground breathing through the pain of them and they were getting stronger and stronger. So I called the midwife. She told me to only count the intense ones and when they were 5 minutes apart to call her back. I asked her if I should alert my Mum as she wanted to be at the birth and she was in Winnipeg and would need to jump on a plane. She told me that now would definitely be a good time to notify her. (That's when I knew this was really going to happen.) So, I did. She packed her bags and headed to the airport to get a flight ASAP. Mean while I was still on google chat with Meghan who was luckily keeping track of my contractions. When they got worse and closer I contacted the midwife again and she said she was on her way. Meghan had our friend Sheena text Julian at school to get him to come home. He was just arriving in class and settling in when he got the text. So, he informed the prof and headed back home. In the 50 minutes it took him to get home my contractions had multiplied in pain to the point where I was most comfortable on all fours swaying my hips. When the contractions would stop, I would pace up and down my apartment as I talked to Meghan on google and was encouraged through phone calls from my cousin Fiona, my sister Christine, my brother Mike, and my Mum, (sorry if I missed anyone, it was a blurry day.) Thank you all for the support. Not long after Julian got home, the midwife showed up. She checked me and sure enough, I was 3cm dilated. She said because everything seemed to be moving fast that she would stay and see what happened. My midwife, Aimee was a god sent. She was so cool and calm and made me feel so comfortable. She pretty much stayed out of mine and Julian's way and just let us do what came naturally. She would remind me to breathe deep and hard when I felt I couldn't go on. She would make suggestions when it seemed I was struggling. Because the labour was so quick it was SO SO intense and I couldn't build up a tolerance. But ya know, it wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. It really wasn't. Women are AMAZING!!!! At times I would close my eyes and breathe and make noises I never thought I could make, lol and I would find strength by thinking about all the other women in the world who was doing what I was doing at that very same moment. I personally found that being on all fours in my bathtub while Julian applied pressure to my lower back as I swayed my hips, the best way of getting through all the contractions. In between contractions I had some moments and I would lean against the wall and start falling asleep and then all of a sudden another one came and what I thought was a dream for a moment became very real again! I was in the tub when my water broke. When it finally broke I felt SUCH a release of pressure and it felt so good. But then all of a sudden I just needed to push! I couldn't help it, my body just naturally pushed when I had a contraction. Amiee recommended I get out of the bath and on to my bed to push because the bathroom was so cramped. So I slowly got out and made my way to the shower curtain that Julian took down from the bathroom and placed on the bed. She had me lay on my left side and told me to breathe through 3 contractions without pushing. It was SO SO SO hard not to push. Then she had me roll on my right side and do the same, only this time I just couldn't help it and when the first contraction hit I just pushed. It was so intense I can't even describe it. As the head was coming out Julian just lost it and I have never seen him SO excited in all my life, lol. She told me to make sure I didn't push for the next contraction and Julian breathed hard with me (like hee hee hee hee hee) it was one of the hardest moments through the whole labour. Part way through that contraction I screamed bloody murder ha ha ha...and I tore a bit...OUCH! (I now understand why they call it "the ring of fire".) But then a couple more pushes and all of a sudden this purpley blue thing covered in gunk was thrown on my body and I was actually in shock for a few minutes. She started crying and Julian was just laughing and saying oh my god. I will never forget that moment (obviously.)



It was 4:48pm when Adelaide was born and she was 48 cm long weighing 5lbs 13oz. A friend of ours said, "5lbs of baby and 13oz of hair", lol. I just knew she had a head of hair. I had terrible heartburn through my pregnancy, especially the last trimester. I love her hair, it's so soft and fluffy.

Because my hemoglobin levels were low to begin with and the labour was so fast the midwife shot a needle of something in my thigh. She said my tear wasn't very bad and as long as I promised to stay in bed for 5 days with my legs together then I didn't need stitches. So I opted for that because the idea of 4 stitches in my hoo-ha sounded worse then the birth, lol.

Eleven days have past already and I am doing much better! Healed up nicely! The first few days were painful and gross, lol. But everyday after that gets easier.
It took us a few days to name our daughter. We had a list of like 20 names we liked and hoped that when she was born, one of them would just stand out. But nope. None. My cousin Fiona informed me that our grandmother (on my Mum's side) who we have never met because she passed away when my Mum was only 8 years old, would have celebrated her birthday on November 10th! Her name was Dorothy. And Adelaide was a random name we saw on the internet and both really liked. We couldn't decide if she would be Dorothy Adelaide or Adelaide Dorothy. But she just looked like an Adelaide. So on Monday November 15th, we made it official. Because for 5 days she didn't have a name and she was so tiny, we called her "Bug" and I am sure that nickname will stick forever. You can see in this photo that she wears that nickname well. How adorable.

She is so tiny. All the newborn clothes that we thought were so tiny don't even fit her. She drowns in all her clothes, lol. I am sure that won't be for long. She is doing VERY well. She is very calm and content. Nights have been great. She feeds every 3 hours on average, so I go to bed around 1am after feeding and changing and then she wakes around 4 for another feeding and changing and then again at 7 and then we sleep until about 9:30-10, so I feel pretty rested. I would say the hardest part is dealing with the gas. Burping her can sometimes be challenging, but i am getting the hang of it. I love how gas makes them smile, lol. It's so adorable. She has the cutest dimples!

Adelaide caught on to the boob after a bit of effort, but once she latched she became a pro. It was awkward at first, I had to find a good position for us and everyday I get better. Breastfeeding is magical. I really don't know why women who CAN breastfeed choose not to because seriously, the bonding that goes on is wicked. Not to mention how GYNORMOUS my boobs are!! (Man, people pay a lot of money to have boobs this big and hard, lol) I also couldn't imagine having to get up and prepare bottles and warm them. Sounds like a lot more work. And also the fact that your body bounces back faster if you breastfeed is really a good enough reason for me! I can't believe how fast my stomach disappeared. A few sit ups here and there and I will be right back to normal. I am already back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! YES!

Sadly, since my labour and delivery was short, my Mum wasn't able to get here in time. She arrived at 11pm that night, but was so helpful! She took care of us as we adjusted for the first week. It was wonderful to have her here for those days because I was bed ridden and a little clueless. She gave me great tips and advice and boosted my confidence so that when she left I knew I could do it.


She cooked, cleaned, did laundry and helped with Bug. She is the master burper, so she tried teaching me and I've gotten pretty good, and will get better.

Our friends were so ridiculously helpful and generous. They came over and brought heaps of gifts and food so we wouldn't have to cook and could concentrate on baby! The gifts were beautiful and the food was and is so delicious. We feel SO loved. Julian's Mum was also here over this weekend to meet her first grandchild. She was amazing as well. Made pizza, cinnamon buns and other food! She restocked our cupboards and bought enough diapers to last us 'til we go home to Winnipeg which is when we'll stock up on AMP diapers. She is still under 6 pounds and AMP diapers suggest your baby is at least 7lbs otherwise they won't fit properly. So at the moment she is wearing preemie diapers. Oh so little.


Adelaide has the cutest lil' gas smiles.

She also has adorable elf ears, that are unfortunately starting to look less elf like.

When she's waking up and stretches, she makes the sweetest kissy face.

And she looks so amazed as she's discovering her hands.

This little girl is blowing my mind. I'm in awe every moment of everyday. We left the apartment for the first time yesterday and went for a walk to the grocery shop.


The world really is a different place!!

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Full Term...We Made It!

We made it! Today I am full term...37 weeks, which means baby can come at any time! Since I am planning a home birth, this is fantastic news, because had I gone in to labour any earlier then this, I would have had to go to the hospital. So, phew! She is still in. I don't think she'll be making her debut anytime soon, but you never know. We still have 3 more weeks to wait until the actual due date. But if she decides to come before the 29th, I will be THRILLED! I am ready to have this baby out of me and in our lives. Well, not really yet, lol. The birthing pool hasn't been delivered, I haven't unpacked much of her stuff, and I don't have any disposable diapers, just cloth at the moment. So I would like to get a pack of disposables so I won't have to do laundry in the first week while me and baby heal and rest! My midwife last measured me 2 days ago and she said I was measuring 2 cms on the small side. She said that doesn't mean much considering all women and babies are different. I have yet to find a stretch mark though, so that's great news. In the photo above I have placed some clothes in the position that the baby is laying. I am getting more excited and more anxious and scared with every passing day. I know I can do this...I just don't want to...but I have to. There is no turning back. Once the actual labour and delivery is over I will be relieved. Keep your eye on the prize right, lol!
Julians' Grandma Bargen sent us a parcel with some baby things like socks, a book, some of her yummy cookies and some cloth diapers along with the AMAZING blanket she made for our baby! I am so in love with it. It's so soft!
This is the front.

And this is the back.

I have also pulled out some of her shoes that I started collecting when I found out I was pregnant. I just love baby shoes, they are too precious!

These 2 are my favourites. They are old european style shoes that cost me all of 50 cents! I got them from the MCC in Steinbach, Manitoba. I really love that place!

I continue to bake and crochet. I wish the cleaning part of "nesting" would kick in, LOL. Here are some more crocheted items I have made this week. Bah! They are so cute.
These are black booties with light pink vintage buttons for babies age 6-9 months.

These are milk chocolate brown booties with seafoam vintage buttons for babies age 3-6 months.

These are navy blue high top booties with brown ties for babies age 3-6 months.

These hats are so sweet and elegant! Vintage style crocheted baby hat for newborns to 3 months. Snow white with a red lace ribbon and bow!

And this one is red wine with a sage green ribbon and bow. This one I am keeping for myself and I will take some gorgeous photos of my baby in it when she gets here. She's gonna think her mother is a one-eyed robot because I am certain I won't be able to stop photographing her!

See what's available in my online stores.
http://www.heatherbays.etsy.com/
OR
http://www.heatherbays.artfire.com/
And remember, I take custom orders, so if you need a certain size or a specific colour, I can make it for you, just email me:
heatherbays@gmail.com
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"Oh say, cute boots!"

I was up VERY late last night learning a new crochet pattern. Sometimes I find that crocheting can be addictive...very addictive, especially when I learn a new pattern. It's exciting. So I say, when you are feeling inspired, no matter when that may be, take advantage of it.


I have 2 pairs of these warm boots available which you can find in both my online shops:
http://www.heatherbays.etsy.com/
OR
http://www.heatherbays.artfire.com/


They both measure 4 inches long, which is a size 2. They also have vintage decorative buttons on the sides from the button collection I inherited from my grandmother. Well, I gotta clean my place, then go grocery shopping (restock for baking, so stay tuned) and then I can return to crocheting! YES!
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Oh Baby!!!

I went to a rummage sale at the church at the end of our street last Saturday and found some pretty excellent wool! With one of the magnificent colours I found, I made these hot pink mary janes for a new baby!

They have seafoam coloured vintage buttons too! If these aren't sold by the time my baby arrives, then I think I might end up keeping them!

And of course I am still making baby/toddler leg warmers! These are super precious and are great for this time of year! These are a one size fits all sorta thing. These leg warmers will fit babies 6 months to children 3 years or older, depending on the size of the child. You can bunch them or wear them full length. They also fit on adults arms for arm warmers!



I have some available in both of my online shops but I also do custom orders if you are looking for a specific colour! So come to either my ETSY store or ARTFIRE store and see what's available! They are perfect for this time of year and would make a wonderful Christmas gift too. They will arrive gift ready just like the photo below, all nicely hand packaged!


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Baking With Warm Spices Makes You Feel Toasty.

Last night I decided to bake a carrot cake as the rain started coming down outside making the autumn evening feel a little cooler. I love baking with warm smelling spices on cool days. Keeps you feeling toasty and comforted. I came across this recipe on Cat Can Cook and decided to try it. I doubled the recipe thinking I would make 2 cakes, but I really didn't need to double it...it made LOTS! Oh well, I am eating for two right? Ha ha ha!! I will have to freeze one which I am sure I will be thankful for later. Boy...I am starting to think I need a small deep freeze. We are running out of room in our fridge freezer.

You will need:
4 Eggs
1 Cup White Sugar (because I use organic cane sugar, I omitted about 1/4 cup)
1 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Cup Vegetable Oil
2 Cups All Purpose Flour
2 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Baking Soda
1 tsp. Salt
1 1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
1/2 tsp. Nutmeg
3 Cups Grated Raw Carrots
1/2 Cup Raisins
1/2 Cup Finely Chopped Nuts (optional – and omit if serving to small kids)
I also added about 1/3 cup sunflower seeds


Beat eggs well in a large bowl, and add sugars in gradually, beating until light. Beat in oil. In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Stir into egg mixture. Stir in carrots, raisins and nuts and seeds (if using). Pour into a greased and floured 13X9 pan, and bake in a 350 degrees oven for 35-40 minutes. Enjoy!




And then I topped my cake with a simple cinnamon butter cream icing.
D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!!!
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Soups Up...Save Room for Dessert!

Welcome to my cooking space! I spent a lot of time here last week cooking up a storm making soups to freeze for when baby gets here so we have fast nutritious meals when we need them! Of course I have also been making baked goods in between to fill my cravings!

I photographed some of the delicious foods I made last week! If you want any recipes just let me know and I will gladly pass them along if I have one for what you're looking for. Sometimes I make things up and don't follow recipes, lol. Don't drool too much while looking at these. I certainly had a hard time with the post, it made me very hungry!!

Apple Cinnamon French Toast

Roasted Cauliflower Cream Soup

Curried Carrot and Sweet Potato Soup

Rice Pudding with Custard

Creamy Potato and Dill Soup

Cream of Broccoli Soup

Apple Strudel Muffins

Our freezer is now full of delicious soups and I am sure I will add more. Julian boiled a bunch of beans and froze them yesterday too. We are rich with black beans and kidney beans perfect for chili's and he made re-fried beans and a black bean with tomatoes, onions and spices perfect for things like burritos!! If we keep this up, we'll need a deep freeze!

Natural vs Robots.

I have reached 33 weeks! I haven't taken any new photos this week, but this photo is from last week. I have been busy with other things like making soups and freezing them to prepare for when time will be scarce with a new baby. I have been busy crocheting and visiting with family and friends. Just making a life here in a new big city. So far I am loving it. People are so kind in Toronto. This city is so well run. The transportation system is the next best thing to a teleporter! And most of all, I was able to get a midwife no problem. So, we are prepared/preparing for the big day which could come in as little as 4 weeks. I am "full-term" on November 8th, so anytime after that! Yikes.
I have pretty much finished that book 'Birthing From Within' and I think it was the most helpful out of all the books I have read. It made me feel so much better about a lot of things. Giving birth to a baby is something women have been doing since the beginning of time...but this is MY first time and it's kinda scary. This book helped me realize what I was so afraid of and it turns out, I was just afraid of the whole western birthing experience. Going to a hospital, being poked and prodded by random doctors or nurses, hoping there is a private room and if not, sharing your personal space at such a vulnerable time with complete strangers. Not having nearly as many choices, such as eating and drinking during labour, not having the option of birthing in a pool/tub, when to cut the chord, not forcing the placenta out, being pressured for drugs and possible interference with tools or even a C-Section so the doctor can get home in time for dinner. You become so limited. I know doctors are useful when it comes to birthing high risk babies, but if there is no risk, then why chance the hospital where most babies are born doped up on drugs. I suppose if that's where you feel most comfortable, then the hospital is a great choice for you, but why have an OB/GYN or doctor when you can have a Midwife?! Midwives are obviously HIGHLY educated and know more about normal natural births then a doctor. Some nurses have never even seen a natural birth! YIKES! So, though many people think I am "brave" for having a homebirth, I think women who birth in hospitals are brave. I certainly feel more at home and comfortable and safe in my own home.
I know that Canada and the USA are a little different, but they aren't THAT much different when it comes to birthing techniques. I watched the movie 'The Business of Being Born'. It's a little aggressive like "Sicko", but if you are expecting a baby or know someone that is expecting a baby, this is something that is worth your time!! Watch it on YouTube (if you can find it) or rent it or buy it. But watch it!!! Educating yourself on your rights and options is so worth your time so you can make your birthing experience a magical one instead of a terrifying stressful one. They bring up things like the domino effect of taking drugs for pain and how it can actually complicate your birth WAY more. They talk about unnecessary C-Sections. Did you know that in New York 1 out of 3 births are done by C-Section?! They have these things called "Designer Births" where you book yourself in around your due date (sometimes earlier if you don't wanna get too big to avoid stretch marks), then they induce you, slice you open, remove your baby who obviously wasn't ready to come out yet and then while they have you open on the table, they do a quick tummy tuck and ta-da! You have given birth to your beautiful baby. EFFING SICK!! It's just scary how far removed we are from our natural animalistic instincts. Have we forgotten that we are animals too? There is one doctor from Europe in the documentary who is passionate about natural births and he talks about "love hormones". These hormones are produced and released when pushing your baby out naturally. If you and your baby are drugged up, or if you have a surgical birth, your bodies natural abilities are blocked and confused. That being said, you are more likely to have a much harder time during postpartum with depression, healing and you increase the chance of infections. I understand that SOME people need drugs and interference to save their baby and/or themselves, but with something like 90% of our population taking part in these new birthing techniques, it seems crazy to me! I can't believe that some advice I have been given time and time again is "take the drugs!" What kind of advice is that? They say that "if you can give birth to a baby, then you can do anything"...well, does that apply to women who opt for a pain-free birth, or a "designer birth"? I guess maybe, but I will admit...I am less impressed. If you NEED it, that's one thing, but if you don't, why interfere with something that our bodies have been doing since the beginning of time? There are consequences. I wonder what will happen if we keep going down this path? In time maybe we'll have smaller pelvic bones because we won't be using them to birth anymore, or the complete loss of certain hormones or the ability to naturally go in to labour? Or maybe women will take back control of their own bodies!
I think the bottom line is...educate yourself, find out the pros and cons and have your baby where ever you feel comfortable and stress-free. Just know what you want so you don't get pressured in to something that's not right for you.

Oh Boy, 30 Weeks!!

So, I have reached 30 weeks. I don't know where the time is going, but it is flying by. I can't believe that sometime in the next 8 to 12 weeks we will have a new person added to our family. It's so surreal for me sometimes. I am overjoyed and anxious and a little terrified...I imagine these are all normal feelings for first time parents. I have been raised around children and babies my whole life, so this should be no problem...but when it's YOUR OWN child, it's a little different. Sometimes I wonder if I know what I am going to do with this little person when she gets here. Obviously I will feed her, clothe her, love her, etc. But I've never been a mother before (other then to 3 spoiled cats) so as time is ticking closer and closer to that due date, I am trying to educate myself in the areas I lack confidence.
My husband and I start a couple prenatal classes at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto in October. I feel like they it might be full of obvious information, but hey, if anything, it will boost our confidence, and it will better prepare my husband who has never changed a diaper before.
I continue to read books on childbirth, preferably natural childbirth. I have been reading this blog too, which I find enjoyable.
I have found a midwife from Seven Generations and I have my first appointment coming up. We are going to go ahead with the plan to have a homebirth, but if our minds change and we decide that we're more comfortable in a birthing centre (oh how our society has put fear in us), Sunnybrook has just renovated and opened their new and improved birthing centre. So if you want a virtual tour of the place, click HERE. My midwife would be with me of course and a doctor can step in only if she feels it's necessary, but I am sure since everything has been running smoothly, everything will go just fine. I just have to trust myself, trust my body and of course have a great support system (which I have.)
I have such beautiful light in my new apartment in Toronto, so I had a fun photoshoot. It's important to me to document my pregnancy through photos. Maternity photos are some of my favourites to shoot. Before I was pregnant I thought pregnant ladies were SO cute and it was hard to understand how some people feel unattractive when their pregnant, but as I sit here with a large 3 pound eggplant sized baby in my belly, I completely understand. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable and unattractive, especially as I run out of clothes that fit properly, as all you other beautiful pregnant mama's have probably felt. My veins are more noticeable, I have what looks like cottage cheese growing on my butt and thighs and sometimes I get weird red bumps on my belly. But, when you look at maternity photos, man, pregnancy is a beautiful sexy thing. I have a collection of maternity photos here on my Facebook page, so become a fan and take a look!!
http://www.facebook.com/artist.heatherbays

Manitoba to Ontario to 3rd Trimester.

Yikes, it's been over a month since my last post. What can I say, we were busy. We have packed up and moved out of Winnipeg. We will be moving in to our new apartment in Toronto this Friday, Sept 10th. I am excited about settling in a new place. Change is good. It's refreshing and inspiring. When you stay in the same place too long you become blind, so I am excited to see again!
For now, we are visiting my family in Rosseau. We drove for 2 days to get here, through Ontario around Lake Superior. What a beautiful drive. I would like to do that drive again but with more time so I can photograph the landscape and the wildlife. Since we had 3 cats in the car with us, we wanted to get to out destination ASAP. And having just started my 3rd trimester, I didn't want to spend too many days in a car.
My cousin (who we are staying with) has a friend who does henna work, so in celebration of my 3rd trimester, she did some beautiful henna art work on my belly. I love it. It should stay for about 2-3 weeks.

As of today, I am 28 weeks pregnant. I am still feeling fabulous. Maybe a little tired and some days I need a nap, but I can still touch my toes!! I experience practice contractions multiple times throughout my days which they call Braxton Hicks, but ya know, I just hate that they are called Braxton Hicks so I can't bring myself to call them that, lol. The baby is very active and getting stronger all the time. She sometimes gets hiccups which makes my belly jump rhythmically. The backache can be pretty bad, but my husband massages my back every day...thank goodness!
I am reading a book called 'Birthing From Within' which is great and helps me get more comfortable with the idea of pushing a baby out of my hoo-ha! It brings you back to a primal way of thinking about child birth instead of the medical way we look at it today. As I get deeper in to the book I will write more about it.