Bug Turns One!

My goooooooodness!! Exactly one year ago right now, I was pushing out a baby! At this moment 365 days ago, I would have been getting out of my bath tub to rip down a shower curtain to birth my baby on. Wanna read more about my home birth? Please click HERE. It was the best day of my life. Moments after birthing Adelaide, I said, "I would SO do that again!" So intimate, so personal, so loving, so real, so magical, so perfect.
Happy Birthday darlin'!

The Yeast Beast. Part Two.

Ya know, I have been dreading this blog entry. I have been putting it off simply because I don't want to write about yeast or candida. If you have dealt with a yeast infection in your life (especially with a baby too) then you'll know what I mean. Once the battle is over, you just want to forget about it and stop thinking about it, which means, I've not wanted to write about it. But I want to conclude this because we got rid of it naturally! YAY! And often people struggle with yeast for a long time. So maybe this can help.

Our battle started here The Yeast Beast. Part One. So you may want to read part one before continuing.

Things got MUCH better fast after we got home and I saw my naturopath, Catherine. (If you live in the Winnipeg area and would like to see her, I'll be glad to pass on her info.) She wasn't surprised that I got in to this mess. She gave me 3 different kinds of acidophilus, one VERY strong one, one pretty strong one, and one strong but not as strong as the others. Catherine encouraged me to stay on a no sugar, gluten and dairy diet. Basically the Candida diet, which is like the Paleolithic diet. When I studied these diets at the beginning of all this, it was overwhelming. It seemed like so many restrictions and that there was hardly anything I could eat. But it's really about what works for YOU! So, after talking to Catherine I brought back coconut milk and brown rice and organic oats (the ones that take like half hour to cook, lol) to my diet, which was good because I had read so many places that these were restricted, which means I was pretty much only eating fruits and veg. I was never really satisfied. It was driving me bonkers! So yay, bringing back coconut milk, brown rice and oats brings SO MANY other recipes to the table! Basically, drink water often and just cut out refined foods!

Refined sugars include sweet substances that have been processed and milled to the point that the sugar particles are extremely fine. When refined sugars are eaten, the sugars are able to quickly enter the blood stream. This can spike the blood sugar, causing the body to feel instantly energized. Unfortunately, the energy received from refined sugars is short-lived, and will cause a sudden energy drop shortly afterward. When the energy level drops so suddenly, it causes the body to crave more sugars in order to compensate for the energy loss. This cycle leads to the consumption of excess calories, which can lead to weight gain and obesity. Refined sugars include white sugar, corn syrup, refined honey and refined maple syrup. Instead of using refined sugars, chose whole-food sweeteners, such as raw honey or black strap molasses.
Refined flours have been milled so much that nearly all of the nutritional value has been lost. Many refined flours are fortified in order to compensate for the loss of vitamins and minerals. Refined flours are very fine in texture, and enter the blood stream as quickly as refined sugars, causing the same spike and drop in energy levels. Refined flours include white flour and products created with white flour, such as pastries, cookies, cakes and crackers. Choose whole-grain flours and baked goods that are minimally refined, instead of refined white flour products.
Refined produce include vegetables and fruits that have been cooked to the point that most of the vitamins, fiber and minerals have been lost, and canned. Using canned vegetables and fruits in recipes and in meals will not nourish the body and will cause the body to not have enough fiber to maintain proper digestion. Eating a great deal of processed and refined vegetables and fruits can lead to malnutrition and constipation. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables that still retain their nutrient levels and fiber, instead of refined, canned produce.

Adelaide continued with her acidophilus and we bought a jar of 'Baby Got Back' which has tea tree oil in it which kills yeast. Smother it on baby's butt whenever you put them in a diaper. We got a pack of disposables until this was dealt with because yeast can live inside the cloth diaper, so you need to treat/sterilize your diapers. Here's how you do it:

Cold wash with Tea Tree Oil (3-4 drops)
Hot wash with an oxygen cleaner (Vaska OxygenBleach or Bio Kleen Oxygen Bleach Plus are options)
Lay out in sun or dry on high heat.

So that may seem like a lot of stuff, but it's not really. It's basically...we all take acidophilus, and we just eat healthier by eating fresh fruits and veg and proper grains! Ta-da! Refined foods haven't been around for very long, if you think about it, humans have been around for tens of thousands of years, so we JUST introduced all these processed foods high in sugars and chemicals to our bodies in the last few hundred years, and the food is getting more refined and artificial unless you make a real effort. So it's no wonder so many people suffer from health problems. Seriously, how many people do you know that are really "healthy" (whatever that really means)? You are what you eat aren't you? Your brain uses the food you give it. If you give your body crap, well, then your just full of crap! And that can make things in life more difficult for you in SO many ways. So I can't stress it enough...go back to basics whenever you can. Most of all, cut that sugar out! If you don't think you have a sugar addiction, I dare you to go just 5 days without ANY sugar. And no you can't have substituted sugars like aspartame or sucrose. Good luck.

If you are having trouble with recipe ideas including desserts, then stay tuned! I have sugar free, gluten free and dairy free recipes with photos coming your way SOON!

The Yeast Beast. Part One.

Candida is the scientific name assigned to yeast. Yeast in our body is complicated and a bit controversial, though, it's pretty serious business! Everyone has yeast in their body. And we all have Lactobacilus acidophilus and some other bacteria such as lactobacillus casei which are collectively known as acidophilus. These bacteria are in our body naturally and useful for us in many ways such as, they protect us from parasites, yeasts and other micro-organisms. They help in digestion by producing enzymes. They boost up our digestive system. They restore the balance of the micro flora in our digestive tract. They regularize the pH balance of the intestines by producing lactic acid.

These friendly bacteria are present in our body along with the yeasts. There exists a delicate balance between the two. The friendly bacteria or acidophilus deter the overgrowth of the yeast. When acidophilus enters a sugar rich environment, it converts the sugar into lactic acid. This lowers the pH level of the food and makes the environment unsafe for the yeasts. However some factors such as use of antibiotics, or poor diet, destroy these helpful bacteria. The yeasts get unbridled and start proliferating rapidly. This is the main cause of the yeast infections.

If you eat healthy and have a healthy gut flora then for the most part, you probably keep your yeast under control and balanced. However, that's harder then you think. Foods that feed the yeast consist of gluten, yeast, and sugar which means LOTS of foods. Foods that replenish and produce the acidophilus would be most veggies, almonds, fruits, meats and plain yogurt (with acidophilus).

If you have a yeast imbalance or a yeast infection it will show up in many different ways. You could have a rash somewhere on your body, usually in warm crevasses like armpits, ears, corners of mouth, tongue (known as thrush), your butt, your genitals, under or between your breasts and your feet (known as Athlete's Foot). Or it could be causing you fatigue, depression, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, constipation or Acid Reflux. It could be the cause of lesions in areas like your nail beds, in your nostrils or the fold in your genital area.

I write this because we are fighting the yeast beast!! How did this happen?! When I thought about it, it's not surprising that this happened! Here's my story:

Back in February I had to go on Antibiotics. I knew that antibiotics can easily cause a yeast infection. I have been taking a probiotic for a couple years which means through my pregnancy. When I ran out I didn't get more. You know how it is with a new baby, days turn in to weeks which turn in to months. So then of course I went on those antibiotics and I still didn't get more acidophilus of any kind! (I know right, what the hell is wrong with me?!) And we all know about my baking addiction that really started when I first got pregnant which has turned me from a sugarholic to a crazy fiending sugarholic. Just think, all the ice cream cakes, the brownies, the cookies, the bread, the dough, the cakes and pies...HELLO YEAST. GOODBYE GOOD BACTERIA!!!! So really, why didn't I see this coming?! lol. My body was warning me, I ignored the signs. Then Adelaide started solids and of course I knew that pablum...boxed rice shit...was not necessary. But afraid of messing something up I just followed what people told me and what the mass does, I gave her some pablum with apples. I was using pablum as a thickener. Then I got her some Farleys Rusks! Why not right? They are deeeeelish and fun for her to feed herself. Well, those are gluten and sugar filled! Not long after, we discovered a rash on Adelaide's butt. I knew right away that it must be yeast related. A yeast diaper rash look like this. Of course, that prompted me to look in Bug's mouth and what do you know...thrush! A very mild case, but still, it was there!!

I knew I HAD to get acidophilus. We got some, I took 6 capsules a day, Julian took 2 a day and Adelaide had 1 a day that I broke open and dunked my wet finger in throughout the day to let her suck it off. You gotta treat the whole family otherwise it may not go away!! Since we use reusable cotton cloths for bum wipes with my own homemade natural wipe solution, I continued using them, only instead of the normal wipe solution I just used water with lots of apple cider vinegar because I read in many places that this would help. I wiped my boobs with this too after every feeding to avoid an infection in my breasts. I also took a few tablespoons of plain probiotic filled yoghurt and broke open one capsule of acidophilus to mix with it and used that to smother on Bug's butt whenever she was wearing a diaper. I made sure bug spent most of her day naked to air out her rash to keep it cool and dry. She only wore her cloth diapers when we went out. When she slept I just made an origami diaper using a receiving blanket. These are good to put on baby with or without a rash. They're so easy and all you need is a receiving blanket!

We also cut out sugar, gluten and dairy from our diets, except for plain yoghurt with probiotics. For me, this was challenging and shocking. I totally went through withdrawal from the sugar. I was irritable, got hot and cold flashes, got the shakes, always felt hungry, never felt satisfied, sweating, heart palpitations, exhaustion, and much more! I knew I was a sugar addict, but I didn't realize just HOW bad this was for me. After a few days, things got easier and much better. I started feeling fabulous. Better then I had since I was pregnant, which was the healthiest I had ever been. Though, with all this effort, after a couple weeks, Bug's butt wasn't getting that much better. It was like a roller coaster. It would be almost gone at the beginning of the day and flaming red by the end. Or she would wake up and it would be really bad and then it would get better throughout the day.

Enough was enough. We took her to see a Naturopathic Pediatrician in Toronto. They knew exactly how this problem happened without me even explaining. She knew I must've been consuming too much refined sugar and gluten. She wasn't surprised that I was prescribed antibiotics in the last year. And she knew that Bugs yeast infection must have sprung up right after we started her on solids because most people start baby on pablum or other boxed shit. She told us we did good research and we were doing everything right for treatment and to keep it up. She gave Bug a different acidophilus because she said babies need a different one then adult. This was a powder that I just put on my wet finger and give to Bug to suck off. The Doc liked the yoghurt acidophilus mixture idea on her butt, but also recommended tea tree oil. She said she's not sure why we still feed babies pablum as first foods. The yeasty constipating foods became popular during the war and we've just continued ever since. Babies can get all the nutrients and iron they need from fruits and vegetables. And of course she highly recommended we make food ourselves (which we obviously do) so you know where it's from and how it's been cooked. You have more control. It tastes and looks WAY better too. It's also SO SO SO easy! The Doc also said that I should see a naturopath as well and get my yeast balanced too because my milk was probably contributing to the problem. My naturopath is here in Winnipeg and since we were still in Toronto then but would be coming home soon, I knew I could wait the week to see her. So off we went home with hopes that we're on the right track to curing the actual candida problem and not just the side effect.

Read PART 2 HERE!

Adelaide Dorothy Von Bargen

It's a new world...for Julian and I. On November 10th we gave birth to our baby girl right here at home in our Toronto apartment. It was an amazing and surreal experience. It was everything I wanted...except we didn't have the birthing pool because it hadn't been delivered and set up yet. We were to get it the following week. I was sure Adelaide would come later rather then sooner, but she proved us wrong. I am so glad she came when she did because had I gone in to labour just 2 days earlier, I would have had to go to the hospital because I technically wouldn't have been "full-term". Here is my story:
On November 9th in the evening I started feeling like I was getting the flu. I was experiencing some menstrual-like cramps as well. I didn't take much notice because many women feel these cramps weeks before they actually go into labour. As the night went on they started to actually hurt but they weren't happening very close together, it was just randomly. By about 1am I thought I would maybe time them as they seemed to happen more often. They were still minor cramps that were about 7-10 minutes apart and lasted like 20 to 30 seconds. They were making me more uncomfortable then usual but I tried not to take any notice because I knew there were things that still needed to happen before I went in to labour, like losing my mucous plug and I still didn't feel like I had that "nesting" urge. In fact, my place was kind of a disaster. I suppose I had been baking and crocheting more the usual over the weeks leading up to that day, but still, was that "nesting"? At about 3:30am I had to pee, so I went pee and noticed a wee bit of blood on the toilet paper. I looked in the toilet and there was this gross weird thing that came out of me. I wondered if that was my mucous plug. So, I got on the internet and googled it. Of course there were images, lol. And those images definitely resembled what fell in the toilet. Oh boy, I started getting a little nervous. We were SO unprepared. We hadn't gotten anything on the list the midwife told us to have. We didn't even have diapers. The babies stuff was still in boxes and the place was a mess. I did some reading and read that some women lose there plug up to 2 weeks before they actually go in to labour. So, I calmed down and decided to get some rest. I slept for a few hours and woke up at 7am with my husband. He was getting ready for school and I told him all about my night and what happened because he was sleeping while I was going through that. He wondered if he should stay home. I told him not to worry and just go to school. I was convinced I wouldn't go in to labour for a while still. This was our first baby which means it will most likely be late, right? So, after getting his stuff together, off he went. I had a google chat date with one of my best pals back in Winnipeg. We must have been chatting for 20 minutes when all of a sudden these minor cramps I was still getting that were about 30 seconds long and about 7 minutes apart got pretty intense. She told me to call my midwife and I said I was fine and it wasn't a big deal because they weren't super intense and they weren't 5 minutes apart yet. Not long after that I was on the ground breathing through the pain of them and they were getting stronger and stronger. So I called the midwife. She told me to only count the intense ones and when they were 5 minutes apart to call her back. I asked her if I should alert my Mum as she wanted to be at the birth and she was in Winnipeg and would need to jump on a plane. She told me that now would definitely be a good time to notify her. (That's when I knew this was really going to happen.) So, I did. She packed her bags and headed to the airport to get a flight ASAP. Mean while I was still on google chat with Meghan who was luckily keeping track of my contractions. When they got worse and closer I contacted the midwife again and she said she was on her way. Meghan had our friend Sheena text Julian at school to get him to come home. He was just arriving in class and settling in when he got the text. So, he informed the prof and headed back home. In the 50 minutes it took him to get home my contractions had multiplied in pain to the point where I was most comfortable on all fours swaying my hips. When the contractions would stop, I would pace up and down my apartment as I talked to Meghan on google and was encouraged through phone calls from my cousin Fiona, my sister Christine, my brother Mike, and my Mum, (sorry if I missed anyone, it was a blurry day.) Thank you all for the support. Not long after Julian got home, the midwife showed up. She checked me and sure enough, I was 3cm dilated. She said because everything seemed to be moving fast that she would stay and see what happened. My midwife, Aimee was a god sent. She was so cool and calm and made me feel so comfortable. She pretty much stayed out of mine and Julian's way and just let us do what came naturally. She would remind me to breathe deep and hard when I felt I couldn't go on. She would make suggestions when it seemed I was struggling. Because the labour was so quick it was SO SO intense and I couldn't build up a tolerance. But ya know, it wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. It really wasn't. Women are AMAZING!!!! At times I would close my eyes and breathe and make noises I never thought I could make, lol and I would find strength by thinking about all the other women in the world who was doing what I was doing at that very same moment. I personally found that being on all fours in my bathtub while Julian applied pressure to my lower back as I swayed my hips, the best way of getting through all the contractions. In between contractions I had some moments and I would lean against the wall and start falling asleep and then all of a sudden another one came and what I thought was a dream for a moment became very real again! I was in the tub when my water broke. When it finally broke I felt SUCH a release of pressure and it felt so good. But then all of a sudden I just needed to push! I couldn't help it, my body just naturally pushed when I had a contraction. Amiee recommended I get out of the bath and on to my bed to push because the bathroom was so cramped. So I slowly got out and made my way to the shower curtain that Julian took down from the bathroom and placed on the bed. She had me lay on my left side and told me to breathe through 3 contractions without pushing. It was SO SO SO hard not to push. Then she had me roll on my right side and do the same, only this time I just couldn't help it and when the first contraction hit I just pushed. It was so intense I can't even describe it. As the head was coming out Julian just lost it and I have never seen him SO excited in all my life, lol. She told me to make sure I didn't push for the next contraction and Julian breathed hard with me (like hee hee hee hee hee) it was one of the hardest moments through the whole labour. Part way through that contraction I screamed bloody murder ha ha ha...and I tore a bit...OUCH! (I now understand why they call it "the ring of fire".) But then a couple more pushes and all of a sudden this purpley blue thing covered in gunk was thrown on my body and I was actually in shock for a few minutes. She started crying and Julian was just laughing and saying oh my god. I will never forget that moment (obviously.)



It was 4:48pm when Adelaide was born and she was 48 cm long weighing 5lbs 13oz. A friend of ours said, "5lbs of baby and 13oz of hair", lol. I just knew she had a head of hair. I had terrible heartburn through my pregnancy, especially the last trimester. I love her hair, it's so soft and fluffy.

Because my hemoglobin levels were low to begin with and the labour was so fast the midwife shot a needle of something in my thigh. She said my tear wasn't very bad and as long as I promised to stay in bed for 5 days with my legs together then I didn't need stitches. So I opted for that because the idea of 4 stitches in my hoo-ha sounded worse then the birth, lol.

Eleven days have past already and I am doing much better! Healed up nicely! The first few days were painful and gross, lol. But everyday after that gets easier.
It took us a few days to name our daughter. We had a list of like 20 names we liked and hoped that when she was born, one of them would just stand out. But nope. None. My cousin Fiona informed me that our grandmother (on my Mum's side) who we have never met because she passed away when my Mum was only 8 years old, would have celebrated her birthday on November 10th! Her name was Dorothy. And Adelaide was a random name we saw on the internet and both really liked. We couldn't decide if she would be Dorothy Adelaide or Adelaide Dorothy. But she just looked like an Adelaide. So on Monday November 15th, we made it official. Because for 5 days she didn't have a name and she was so tiny, we called her "Bug" and I am sure that nickname will stick forever. You can see in this photo that she wears that nickname well. How adorable.

She is so tiny. All the newborn clothes that we thought were so tiny don't even fit her. She drowns in all her clothes, lol. I am sure that won't be for long. She is doing VERY well. She is very calm and content. Nights have been great. She feeds every 3 hours on average, so I go to bed around 1am after feeding and changing and then she wakes around 4 for another feeding and changing and then again at 7 and then we sleep until about 9:30-10, so I feel pretty rested. I would say the hardest part is dealing with the gas. Burping her can sometimes be challenging, but i am getting the hang of it. I love how gas makes them smile, lol. It's so adorable. She has the cutest dimples!

Adelaide caught on to the boob after a bit of effort, but once she latched she became a pro. It was awkward at first, I had to find a good position for us and everyday I get better. Breastfeeding is magical. I really don't know why women who CAN breastfeed choose not to because seriously, the bonding that goes on is wicked. Not to mention how GYNORMOUS my boobs are!! (Man, people pay a lot of money to have boobs this big and hard, lol) I also couldn't imagine having to get up and prepare bottles and warm them. Sounds like a lot more work. And also the fact that your body bounces back faster if you breastfeed is really a good enough reason for me! I can't believe how fast my stomach disappeared. A few sit ups here and there and I will be right back to normal. I am already back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! YES!

Sadly, since my labour and delivery was short, my Mum wasn't able to get here in time. She arrived at 11pm that night, but was so helpful! She took care of us as we adjusted for the first week. It was wonderful to have her here for those days because I was bed ridden and a little clueless. She gave me great tips and advice and boosted my confidence so that when she left I knew I could do it.


She cooked, cleaned, did laundry and helped with Bug. She is the master burper, so she tried teaching me and I've gotten pretty good, and will get better.

Our friends were so ridiculously helpful and generous. They came over and brought heaps of gifts and food so we wouldn't have to cook and could concentrate on baby! The gifts were beautiful and the food was and is so delicious. We feel SO loved. Julian's Mum was also here over this weekend to meet her first grandchild. She was amazing as well. Made pizza, cinnamon buns and other food! She restocked our cupboards and bought enough diapers to last us 'til we go home to Winnipeg which is when we'll stock up on AMP diapers. She is still under 6 pounds and AMP diapers suggest your baby is at least 7lbs otherwise they won't fit properly. So at the moment she is wearing preemie diapers. Oh so little.


Adelaide has the cutest lil' gas smiles.

She also has adorable elf ears, that are unfortunately starting to look less elf like.

When she's waking up and stretches, she makes the sweetest kissy face.

And she looks so amazed as she's discovering her hands.

This little girl is blowing my mind. I'm in awe every moment of everyday. We left the apartment for the first time yesterday and went for a walk to the grocery shop.


The world really is a different place!!

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Natural vs Robots.

I have reached 33 weeks! I haven't taken any new photos this week, but this photo is from last week. I have been busy with other things like making soups and freezing them to prepare for when time will be scarce with a new baby. I have been busy crocheting and visiting with family and friends. Just making a life here in a new big city. So far I am loving it. People are so kind in Toronto. This city is so well run. The transportation system is the next best thing to a teleporter! And most of all, I was able to get a midwife no problem. So, we are prepared/preparing for the big day which could come in as little as 4 weeks. I am "full-term" on November 8th, so anytime after that! Yikes.
I have pretty much finished that book 'Birthing From Within' and I think it was the most helpful out of all the books I have read. It made me feel so much better about a lot of things. Giving birth to a baby is something women have been doing since the beginning of time...but this is MY first time and it's kinda scary. This book helped me realize what I was so afraid of and it turns out, I was just afraid of the whole western birthing experience. Going to a hospital, being poked and prodded by random doctors or nurses, hoping there is a private room and if not, sharing your personal space at such a vulnerable time with complete strangers. Not having nearly as many choices, such as eating and drinking during labour, not having the option of birthing in a pool/tub, when to cut the chord, not forcing the placenta out, being pressured for drugs and possible interference with tools or even a C-Section so the doctor can get home in time for dinner. You become so limited. I know doctors are useful when it comes to birthing high risk babies, but if there is no risk, then why chance the hospital where most babies are born doped up on drugs. I suppose if that's where you feel most comfortable, then the hospital is a great choice for you, but why have an OB/GYN or doctor when you can have a Midwife?! Midwives are obviously HIGHLY educated and know more about normal natural births then a doctor. Some nurses have never even seen a natural birth! YIKES! So, though many people think I am "brave" for having a homebirth, I think women who birth in hospitals are brave. I certainly feel more at home and comfortable and safe in my own home.
I know that Canada and the USA are a little different, but they aren't THAT much different when it comes to birthing techniques. I watched the movie 'The Business of Being Born'. It's a little aggressive like "Sicko", but if you are expecting a baby or know someone that is expecting a baby, this is something that is worth your time!! Watch it on YouTube (if you can find it) or rent it or buy it. But watch it!!! Educating yourself on your rights and options is so worth your time so you can make your birthing experience a magical one instead of a terrifying stressful one. They bring up things like the domino effect of taking drugs for pain and how it can actually complicate your birth WAY more. They talk about unnecessary C-Sections. Did you know that in New York 1 out of 3 births are done by C-Section?! They have these things called "Designer Births" where you book yourself in around your due date (sometimes earlier if you don't wanna get too big to avoid stretch marks), then they induce you, slice you open, remove your baby who obviously wasn't ready to come out yet and then while they have you open on the table, they do a quick tummy tuck and ta-da! You have given birth to your beautiful baby. EFFING SICK!! It's just scary how far removed we are from our natural animalistic instincts. Have we forgotten that we are animals too? There is one doctor from Europe in the documentary who is passionate about natural births and he talks about "love hormones". These hormones are produced and released when pushing your baby out naturally. If you and your baby are drugged up, or if you have a surgical birth, your bodies natural abilities are blocked and confused. That being said, you are more likely to have a much harder time during postpartum with depression, healing and you increase the chance of infections. I understand that SOME people need drugs and interference to save their baby and/or themselves, but with something like 90% of our population taking part in these new birthing techniques, it seems crazy to me! I can't believe that some advice I have been given time and time again is "take the drugs!" What kind of advice is that? They say that "if you can give birth to a baby, then you can do anything"...well, does that apply to women who opt for a pain-free birth, or a "designer birth"? I guess maybe, but I will admit...I am less impressed. If you NEED it, that's one thing, but if you don't, why interfere with something that our bodies have been doing since the beginning of time? There are consequences. I wonder what will happen if we keep going down this path? In time maybe we'll have smaller pelvic bones because we won't be using them to birth anymore, or the complete loss of certain hormones or the ability to naturally go in to labour? Or maybe women will take back control of their own bodies!
I think the bottom line is...educate yourself, find out the pros and cons and have your baby where ever you feel comfortable and stress-free. Just know what you want so you don't get pressured in to something that's not right for you.